How my travels became a gateway to self-discovery and intentionality

It’s been about four months since I stepped out of my comfort zone and started solo traveling through different cities. It still feels pretty surreal. I clearly remember those days when I’d lay awake in bed painting the “What if?” scenarios in my head. I’d drift off to sleep thinking of shining city lights, streets unknown, and a vision of the future me, who was eagerly waiting to be discovered.

By the time I decided to embark on this journey, I knew that I wanted this experience to be something more than a hybrid work-and-play vacation. Of course enjoying myself during my travels was important, but what I envisioned was an experience where I could push myself out of my comfort zone and observe how I respond to new environments. I wanted to experiment, fail, pick myself up again, and collect data.

Powering me was a deep desire for intentionality and self discovery. I had long operated in a zone where I wasn’t really cognizant of why I made certain decisions or trekked along a certain path. I wouldn’t say that I completely lacked agency in my life, but I was more of a passive traveler. It was only in the midst of the pandemic that I had the time to introspect and dial into my inner voice. For the first time in perhaps my whole existence, I heard myself loud and clear. I no longer wanted to lead life haphazardly, following arbitrary scripts that were etched by tradition or society. I wanted a more active role in shaping my life and its outcomes.

With this acute realization came the hunger to learn more about what it means to live life with agency. I turned to books, articles, podcasts, TED Talks, and any and all resources I could get my hands on to learn more. I eventually reached a point of saturation where consuming media without contextualizing it to my own life felt futile. That’s when I attempted to craft my own definition of intentional living, hoping that it would serve as my guide. Here’s what I came up with:

“Living my life with intention means seeking to understand what motivates me, and creating abundant opportunities to discover and reinvent myself.

I will admit, intentionality didn’t come naturally to me. It was something I had to cultivate. I have come across individuals who are inherently wired to question the status quo and dig beyond what’s in front of them. These are people who are curious about the world and question why things are the way they are. They experience substantial discomfort at even the thought of taking things at face value. The Enneagram personality test calls people with this trait “Investigators.” Some of my closest friends and family members identify with certain facets of this personality type. Unsurprisingly, many researchers, scientists, and creators also fall in this category. Though it took some time, I am glad to have discovered that intentional living can be learned. Over the past few months, I’ve spent time creating intentionality in experiences, practicing it, preserving it in some moments, and letting it go in others. I used to think learning about these complex topics would be confounding, but that could not be further from the truth. In fact, there are tactile ways to practice intentionality. Here are the ones that I found to be the most effective:

1. For me, cultivating intentionality all begins with one question that I intermittently ask myself throughout the day: “Am I present in this moment?”

“Am I present in this moment?”

I have a hyperactive mind, and I expect that to be the case for many of us. At any given moment, it feels like there are so many successive thoughts running through my head. Compounding that are all the distractions like our phones and social media that demand our attention. Some days it feels like my entire consciousness pours itself into what’s going through my brain. I think about everything so much that I’m left feeling numb, exhausted, and disconnected from myself. In moments like these, this question is what brings me back into my being and into the present. Posing this question to myself helps me get centered. When I’m working on a project, it enables me focus on the task at hand. When I’m in someone’s company, it allows me to have presence of mind. When I’m taking a walk around my neighborhood, it encourages me to see the beauty in my surroundings. Or better yet, when I’m in distress, it reminds me that it’s ok to sit in my pain and process my feelings. This question is at the heart of my intentionality practice, and it enables me to unlock the connection between myself and the world around me.

2. One component of cultivating intentionality is having awareness around what guides your decisions.

In our waking hours, we consciously or subconsciously make numerous decisions that lead to various outcomes. To have intentionality, it’s important to start differentiating between which aspects of your life you don’t mind surrendering to passive decision making (or spontaneity), versus which aspects you want to have a deeper understanding around. The best device I have to help with this discovery is as nerdy as it sounds: My Decision Log Once a week, usually on Fridays, I open up my decision log and reflect on the decisions I made in the past week, or the ones that I am actively working through. I have a tab for decisions impacting my personal life and my professional life. Beyond just describing the issue that I’m navigating, I find that reflecting on the aftermath of a decision I’ve made proves to be the most beneficial exploration. How did the decision go down? Was I happy with the outcome? What didn’t work? What would I do differently next time?

The decision log is a living and breathing reflection of how I’m evolving as an individual, and it becomes a forcing function for discovery and agency. Feel free to make a copy from the link above and give it a go yourself!

3. Intentionality is a muscle that has to be stretched, conditioned, and developed.

My third way of practicing intentionality is by appointing trainers in my life who engage with me, practice with me, and hold me accountable. My trainers are my friends, family, mentors, and leaders like Brené Brown, Glennon Doyle, and Simon Sinek whose research on self-discovery and purpose opens up new doors every day. As much time as I spend exposing myself to different ideas, I also prioritize time to pick and choose what to actively practice and what to leave behind. At the intersection of these internal and external exchanges is where my intentionality is born and bred.

One of my favorite quotes:

“Intentional living is the art of making our own choices before others’ choices make us.” — Richie Norton

In these past few months, I’ve had the chance to explore my surroundings. I’ve traveled to different cities, tried new hobbies, and made new friends. However, the most significant exploration has been that of the world inside me. Giving myself the gift of discovery has been immensely rewarding. I’ve learned to carry a healthy awareness with me wherever I go, and I know I am just getting started. With the power of intentional living and the pursuit of self knowledge, I hope to continuously learn and grow.

I wish for change to be my constant, for discomfort to be my opportunity in disguise, and for my self to be my greatest ally.

To that end, onward and upward.

Travel mentioned in this post adheres to the state and local guidelines in place for Covid-19. Please travel responsibly, in accordance with the CDC and local requirements. Resources:

1. Designing Your Life - In this book Stanford professors Bill Burnett and Dave Evans show how design thinking can be used to architect a meaningful and fulfilling life
   

2. "Developing an Infinite Mindset" - One of my favorite podcasts in which Brené Brown and Simon Sinek delve into how we can train ourselves to think big and live life with open arms
   

3. "How to Find Your Purpose" - Former monk, Jay Shetty, explains why self-discovery is vital to leading a life full of happiness
   

4. Untamed by Glennon Doyle shook me in all the right ways. This book opened my heart to self-love, what it means to live courageously, and with purpose